I don’t actually like them, I just barely tolerate them.

(Source: misscatvalentine)

beck—oliver:

As soon as he set his eyes on her, those familiar smitten emotions came rushing through him once again. He tried to shake them off by shifting his position awkwardly, but found that there was really no remedy for how he was feeling. He nodded back at her, then peered down at the box, still slightly unwilling to take it. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to take these things back from her. He certainly did, especially after she’d explained that it made getting over him even more difficult that it had already been. The only issue was that he couldn’t. He was emotionally, mentally, and physically incapable of doing so. 

Just as his heart was incapable of accepting that this had really been it. He felt like taking all of these things back of her would be the final step to confirming their breakup. “Keep it,” he said softly, then gently pushed the box back towards her. “I told you I didn’t want any of this back and I meant it. I’m really only here to talk. I just wanna know how you’re doing. How you’re holding up and stuff, you know? Because the last thing I wanna see is you upset. Especially over someone like me.” 

Jade shut her eyes tightly as Beck spoke. He was saying all the wrong things, and even though she knew he wasn’t saying them with bad intentions, they still stung. “Beck, you can’t…” Jade began, trying her hardest to complete her sentence, but failing once she felt the tears began to pool in her eyes. Her throat became heavy and she swallowed hard, trying her best to appear strong - like she wasn’t about to break down and cry right in front of him.

She took a deep breath to calm herself down, her lower lip still quivering slightly. “You can’t do that,” she finally managed to push out.”I really don’t want to fight right now,” she admitted, her voice nervous and shaking as she said those words. “Please, just take them.” Jade hated sounding so weak, so powerless to her emotions, but it was impossible not to in a moment like this. She didn’t want to let go, but she had to. “I’ll be fine,” she lied as she placed the box on the floor, kicking it slightly in Beck’s direction as she pulled the fallen sleeve of her flannel up, pulling her arms in close to her to keep her warm. “I always am, aren’t I?”

(Source: jadedwest)

(Source: fyeahvictorious)

beck—oliver:

The drive over to Jade’s house felt unusually ominous this time around. Most times, he’d looked forward to it, even if they were in the middle of an argument. Because at the end of the day, she was still his. But this case was unfortunately different, because, well, now…she wasn’t. Seeing her at school and meeting her in private were two completely different things, considering that walking past each other in the halls was easier than having to stand there and actually face her for longer than two seconds. Even if after those two seconds, the thought of her lingered throughout his mind, haunting him until the moment he fell asleep. 

But now, she would be there in front of him and once again, he’d have to fight all of his constant urges. His constant urges to hold her, kiss her, comfort her, remind her that everything would be okay between them. He parked his car outside of her house and rested back on the seat, letting out a deep sigh before hopping out of the car and slamming the door shut behind him. He made his way passed the lawn, then walked towards the back of the house, where he stood in complete silence as he gazed up at her window patiently. Usually—always, actually—he could get away with something cheesy like tossing rocks at her window to signify that he’d arrived, but he knew this was an appropriate time for it. 

Pulling his phone out from his pocket, he shot her a quick text to inform her that he was waiting for her in his “usual spot”, then patiently awaited her arrival. Suddenly, he felt himself choke up. What was he supposed to do? What was he supposed to say? Was he even supposed to speak at all? Letting out another sigh of annoyance with himself, he shoved his hands in his pockets and shook all the pessimistic thoughts out of his head. 

As soon as Jade’s Pearphone vibrated and she saw Beck’s name pop up on the screen, she struggled to swallow the lump that seemed to be forming in her throat. Was this really about to happen? Things felt so… final this time around, and that’s because they were. This was it. The end of Beck and Jade. She didn’t want to do this, but she had to, just as much for her sake as it was for Beck’s, even if he refused to admit it and insisted that she keep all of his things. But there was no way she could. How could she keep everything in that box - from his clothing to his CDs - things that still had his scent on them, knowing that he wasn’t hers anymore? She wouldn’t be able to handle it.

She grabbed the heavy box in both of her hands, the sleeve of her deep red flannel slipping off one of her shoulders as she made her way down the stairs. This was it. Everything they had said to each other in the past few days was building up towards this very moment when they were be forced to look each other in the eyes and let go. She made her way to the back door, unlocking it and opening it almost painfully slowly. She had to be civil. Despite how easy it would be to simply shut down and treat him as terribly as she wanted to, she couldn’t do it. She had to be mature.

Stepped outside, she swallowed again, offering him a solemn nod as a greeting because it was all she seemed to be able to muster up in that moment. Wanting to keep the conversation as short and to the point as she possibly could, she kicked the door closed with one of her legs and extend her arms with the box in them. “Everything’s in here,” she said, finding it practically impossible to make eye contact, “even that brown flannel I said I was going to keep forever.”

(Source: jadedwest)

(Source: joriandotherdrugs)

red-velvet-dreams:

jadedwest:

My brother has a car, I’m sure he’ll let you borrow it! He likes you.

Valentine’s Day was Jade’s least favorite day of the year. She figured that fact wouldn’t really come as a surprise to anyone, however she made it a point to make it very clear regardless. Usually though, the holiday was at least tolerable because she had Beck. At least she wasn’t one of those lonely girls whining all over The Slap about how alone they were and how they had no one to give them roses. This year was different because she was alone. And despite her best attempts to convince herself otherwise, Jade couldn’t stop blaming herself. She gave Beck an ultimatum, and although he made the final decision for himself, maybe things could have been salvaged if she didn’t vaguely give up too.

And today was the hardest part - the true ending. On Valentine’s Day of all days, she wanted Beck to come over and pick up his things. Jade’s plan was to leave the two boxes by her doorstep for Beck to quickly pick up. There would have been no contact whatsoever because things like this are easier when you simply disconnect. Instead, Beck insisted that she talk to him when he came by. What was there possibly left to talk about? They were over, and the more they talked, the harder it was going to be.

The truth was that she missed Beck more than anything. In fact, she’d give just about anything to have him back. She loved him, and she had no present plans to try to change that. She didn’t want to move on, she just wanted Beck back, but that wasn’t an option anymore. But Jade West was strong, and was especially skilled in hiding her emotions from most people. Beck wasn’t ‘most people,’ though, and she knew that no matter how hard she tried to put on a front and act as if their breakup had left her unfazed, he would no doubt see right through her. Still, Jade figured it wouldn’t hurt to try. At least if she was busy trying to act like she was okay, she would spend less time thinking about just how much of a wreck she truly was.

(Source: christopherkellers)